Wherever you are, and whatever time you have, you can invest in this fundamental practice of Buddhism.
Since the Buddha instituted the annual three-month " rains retreat ," a period of intense practice for monastics sheltering from the monsoon, all great masters have considered the retreat an essential part of life of a committed dharma practitioner. But what exactly is a retirement? To go on a retreat means to retire to a quiet or secluded place for a period of time and devote oneself to prayer and meditation . A retreat can be of any length, but traditionally it lasts at least a few days. This withdrawal from worldly life and embrace of solitude and quiet is considered essential to spiritual deepening, particularly to the opening of the heart to joy, love, compassion and equality.
It is in times of crisis and difficulty that we feel the need for retirement most acutely, such as in this time of pandemic and conflict. The more trouble and noise the world becomes, the more our true hearts yearn for peace and calm .
Unfortunately, not everyone has the favorable conditions necessary to make extended retreats or the financial means to travel to isolated retreat centers, if at all the travel is possible given certain restrictions as at the time of COVID. The good news is that you don't need to go to the Himalayas to find solitude and it is possible to greatly benefit from shorter periods of retirement, even if only 'one day a month. We don't need to go anywhere; we can find the peace we need wherever we are, right away. In reality, sometimes closures and restrictions, such as during COVID, are a great opportunity to turn an unfavorable situation to our advantage.
1. Set retirement boundaries.
Throughout your retirement, do not exceed this limit. Typically this is the boundary of your house. Include your yard or balcony so you can sit in the sun, get some fresh air, and watch the sky between sessions. Kyabje Dudjom Rinpoche (1904-1987), a highly revered master, once said that even if we go on retreat to isolated mountains, our spirit often remains in the city. Or, we may be in the city but our mind embraces solitude as if it were in the mountains. This means that our attitude and motivation are more important than location. We do not need to go to a distant hermitage; our homes are excellent places to retire .
2. Set a duration.
Generally, the minimum duration is 24 hours, from dawn to dawn of the following day. However, we must adapt to the real conditions of our life. For example, if you are a stay-at-home parent and have school-age children, you can retire while the children are in school, one or more days per week.
What makes it a retreat rather than just an intermittent practice? It is the commitment to retirement over an extended period of time . If we are truly serious about our practice, there is always a way to engage in some form of retreat. We just have to use our creative intelligence to find what works for us. Whatever happens, stay in retreat for its duration. Don't finish early, even by ten minutes.
3. Choose a simple technique.
It is best to start with silent sitting meditation , learning and contemplating the fundamental principles of Buddhism, such as impermanence (everything changes and nothing lasts forever), cause and effect, compassion and sunyata (the undifferentiation from which all apparent entities, distinctions and dualities appear). It is unwise to engage in a practice that is too complex at the beginning. Keep it simple and focus on things you can do right now without having to learn anything new. The Buddha recommended only two practices during retreat: meditation and contemplation. To familiarize yourself with the retreat, begin with an audio recording of a relaxed guided meditation. Your contemplation can be based on any teaching of the Buddha , but it is best to get to the heart of things and avoid complicated philosophy. The most important thing is to read or listen to the teachings with an open mind, reflect or contemplate these teachings to gain some understanding, and then apply these teachings to daily life.
“It’s not an extreme sport.”
One teaching that makes an excellent basis for retreat is the four thoughts that turn the mind toward dharma, which is essentially a contemplation of impermanence. Understanding impermanence opens the door to the true nature of mind. Therefore, although these teachings are considered preliminary, there are no more important contemplations, no matter what stage we find ourselves in on the path. In fact, when long-time practitioners feel stuck or complain that their practice isn't deepening, the reason is usually that they haven't really taken impermanence to heart.
4. Set the number of sessions.
Start with one or two short sessions per day. Then move on to four longer sessions per day. Two hours is a good amount of time. It is not an extreme sport. A little training done with enthusiasm, energy and joy is better than days and days of training undertaken as if it were an endurance test.
5. Embrace silence.
Turn off all your devices: phone, computer, television, stereo, etc. If you can't turn off your phone, tell friends and family in advance that you will be on retreat and not to disturb you unless there is an emergency. Put the phone out of sight. If you live with others, explain to them that you will not engage in conversation during the retreat and invest in earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones to block out ambient noise. Silence is an essential component of retirement .
6. Make wishes throughout the retreat.
Vows are part of the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. We can cite eight of them:
- Don't kill. The fullest interpretation of this vow is to be vegetarian or vegan for the duration of the retreat. It's about placing compassion (and mercy) at the center of our lives.
- Do not deceive yourself or others. In a retreat there is no one else to talk to or cheat on. In this context, this vow means being honest about what we feel, think and do and being honest with ourselves.
- Do not take what is not freely offered. Basically, don't steal. It’s about being mindful of our greed and desires. In retreat, it simply means being aware when we want things that we don't need or that haven't been given to us.
- Do not engage in sexual contact or stimulation. As above, it is about reducing the desire and urge for pleasure. It's more about mental space than any moral judgment about sex or pleasure. If we are constantly seeking pleasure, our mind cannot be quiet and we cannot rest.
- Do not consume alcohol or intoxicants. It is about allowing the mind to settle into its natural state and retaining the ability to see our mind clearly, without our perception being blurred or distorted. It's also a good idea to reduce or eliminate caffeine and sugar, as they have such a strong effect on the mind. If we want to see our mind clearly, we must at least limit our consumption of alcohol, intoxicants, caffeine and sugar.
- Change your clothes. This vow asks us to wear simple clothing reserved only for practice or retirement. This can be as simple as wearing a brown meditation shawl during practice sessions, or even throughout the retreat. This might mean reserving a favorite t-shirt or socks just for retirement. The goal is to help us get into the retirement spirit by wearing retirement clothing.
- Change your name. Throughout the retreat we use the name of our shelter, or at least we try to remember the meaning of that name while we are on retreat. If we don't have a shelter name, we can choose one. It should be something that inspires us to humbly and gently connect with our spiritual nature. Changing our dress and name makes it easier to let go of who we currently believe we are, and opens us to the possibility that we are not who we think we are, more specifically that our identities and sense of self are truly empty and empty. not substantial.
- Change your mentality. It is about giving up worldly life and livelihood. In terms of livelihood, this vow means that we do not do paid or mundane work during our retirement. Furthermore, this means that we must remember impermanence in order to divert our mind from useless things and activities and direct it towards meaningful activities such as practicing dharma.
7. Ask a retirement mentor to answer any important questions that arise.
The mentor can be either your dharma teacher or an experienced and trusted practitioner who has done many retreats. If the retreats are short, do not contact the mentor unless your questions are urgent. Retirement is a time to learn how our own minds work and to become comfortable with our minds.
8. Start small and slow, then build your abilities and confidence over time.
During the retreat session (whether it's an hour, a day, or a weekend), simply settle in to do all of the above. Choose an easy meditation practice , read dharma books, and gently contemplate the fundamentals. Stay in your comfort zone until you settle into a rhythm. It's a marathon, not a sprint. And going on a retreat is to soften the heart and the mind. It's not a question of hardening oneself for retirement, but of softening oneself for it.
With each retreat session, incorporate a little more routine and structure into your day. Eventually, develop more or longer session periods and stay consistent: practice at the same time, in the same place, and for the same duration. Consistency and perseverance are key. Turn those weekend retreats into a sustainable, long-term practice.
9. Be honest with yourself about your ability.
Take it easy. By going too far and too fast, you run the risk of developing an aversion and no longer wanting to practice. Accept where you are and build from there. Initially, even Siddhartha Gautama was not Shakyamuni Buddha. Young Mila became Milarepa over time. Yeshe Tsogyal began as an ordinary Tibetan girl and became the first fully enlightened being in Tibetan tradition. We all start somewhere . We must slowly build our capacity and confidence.
10. Have no expectations!
Be patient, kind and forgiving towards yourself. Practicing self-compassion and love in retreat is vital. Relax completely between sessions. If you need to rest, then rest. Resting in peace and quiet between sessions is just as important as the session time itself, because this is when the practice moves from our head to our heart and deepens. When obstacles arise, remember that the majority of them are made by the mind, so relax. There is nothing to fear from the mind. Obstacles are inevitable; don't be disappointed when they show up.
11. Spark joy at the start of each session.
We start with joy so that sessions become something we look forward to and enjoy rather than dreading them and approaching them as a chore. Joy makes retirement wonderful rather than laborious.
12. Remember the immense opportunity and privilege of being able to practice dharma and go on retreat.
Countless beings do not have this opportunity, so savor it, take advantage of it, and make the most of this time.
